10 Ways Singleness Prepares you for Marriage
We’ll start with the obvious—I appreciate my husband infinitely more due to the wait. When things come easy, it’s very easy to take them for granted. And trust me, waiting for him didn’t come easily. I waited many years, some lonely, some not.
My faith is much stronger. I had to learn to lean on God more and make him my first priority throughout my single years. I actually believe this is why God made me wait awhile for the the right guy to come along. I was making marriage an idol above God. A strong faith has helped me exponentially in my marriage. A few examples include: how I dealt with our differences (take it to God), how to LOVINGLY disagree (take it to God, and trust me, there is a difference) and how to possibly forgive the same person day in-and day out. (Did I mention, take it to God?)
My singleness taught me not to place my sole purpose or happiness in a human being. You will be let down. And it’s absolutely not fair to place perfection on my husband. I’m not perfect, so he shouldn’t have to be.
I got to travel. A lot. Now that I’m married, as wonderful as it is, it’s not as easy to book a trip. We have two schedules to think about. It requires double the amount of finances for two people to go. But through all of my time being single, and by having that time of selfishness, I believe it’s been easier for me to adjust to thinking and including someone else.
By living on my own and being on my own, I learned what I can cope with as far as house cleaning goes and what I can’t. Yes, ladies, I too have my moments of acting like a control freak. This might sound crazy, but one of my husband and I’s most frequent disagreements at the beginning of our marriage involved some issue with our house and it’s cleanliness. Yes, I’ve learned to compromise with some of this, but I also know what I absolutely cannot function in and with when my house is a mess, and I’ve been able to communicate this.
Singleness can often mean dating. My time being single included several years of dating, and it definitely showed me what I did and did NOT want in my future husband. I know for a fact that had I not dated some of the wrong guys, had I not gotten my heart-broken a bit, I would not have said yes to my husband initially. I just don’t think I would have chosen correctly. He is so different from what I imagined my husband would be. And so much better. Thankfully, God’s imagination is much better than our own. Can I get an Amen?
Singleness gives you time to really know yourself. It allows you to work on some of your own flaws and faults that may require some adjusting prior to meeting the one. This is important. For example, I can be very stubborn. This is something my singleness made me aware of and something I know I have to ask God’s grace for in order to be a kind human being and a selfless, loving wife. It ain’t easy, but I got a kickstart in my single years with learning how to deal and better this weakness.
Singleness grows your patience and builds virtue. I know, I know, this is not a fun one. But trust me, you will need LOADS of patience in marriage. Men and women are very different from one another, and learning about these differences requires patience. And as we know, patience is a virtue. Truly.
Throughout my single years I learned about hope. I learned how to hope and who and what I should place my hope in. I hoped in the Lord that he would bring me a husband. I stopped listening to the world and its doubts, and believed that it was possible. And what do you know, He did just that. Now I use that hope today when my husband and I come across some of life’s struggles and aren’t exactly sure what to do. I often reflect on how I was hopeful in my past, and how God answered me in His timing. I am hopeful today, and I know God’s got our back, no matter what.
My singleness brought me wonderful friendships. It gave me the time to carefully select the people I wanted to surround myself with. I now have these amazing friends that encourage me in my marriage. They pray for my husband and I, and our marriage is better because of it.
Twirl on over to our Instagram, girl!